I radiate

I strive to radiate warmth around me, but somehow my experiences turn me into a cold person. That cold, which freezes my flow of emotions, hardens the blood in my heart, numbs the senses and feelings that stimulated my smile. Its not as if I enjoy the coldness. Its not as if I enjoy the silence. Its not as if I enjoy the chill you experience when you talk to me, when you stand next to me. Its not as if hurting you gives me sarcastic pleasure.

 

I still strive to radiate the warmth around me. I try harder to break thru the thick sheet of ice with the help of the candle of hope that keeps me alive from within. It will take time, but the hate on ice will surely melt.. one day.. the candle of hope will fight with the biting cold experiences of life. The cold winds, hardened feelings, numb brains and frosty voices will all give way to the warm, green, colourful happy autumn of life. Blood will pump energy and love into my heart, emotions will flow once again, unpolluted, uninterrupted, the next time you shiver, you will hold my hands for warmth.. my smile will be your bonfire...  one day.. I will make it happen.