The problem of no problems

Stress free, perfect, sitting in the green lawns, early morning dew, hot cup of tea, delicious breakfast, swimming, meditation, parties... bus.. that's all that we look forward to in life. We hate dealing with problems. I mean we do everything possible to avoid this virus called 'problems'. For many of us, the ideal life is the problem free life where we can keep smiling forever. But you don't need me to tell you that, wishing for a problem free life is no solution. Obviously, if that happened, joy and sorrow, strong and weak, nice and bad.. everything loses meaning. Life loses meaning (Wah!profound!) !

Well, getting to the point. Living life problems free is no fun. Living life problems solved, is more fun. Problems make us uncomfortable, test our grit and determination, test a different trait every time they occur, so they manage to tense us, they are THE things that shake us out of our comfort zones. And register this. Every time you manage to solve a problem, you manage to pass that test of life. Some problems test courage, some test your patience, others, your thinking abilities. The fun is taking problems head on. Nah! That doesn't mean they'll stop coming to you. It just means, they'll be more fun. I know, I know. Fun sounds very optimistic. But you get the point. No? Oh alright. I just mean, you can then stop worrying about obstacles and start concentrating on larger goals, that consist of your dreams.. of all your 'someday I will' list.

It's very very very easy to settle down in comfort zones. Who doesn't love them. Bus, mujhe koi disturb mat karna.. this is how I want life to be. Perfect, pristine, magical. But then, I'd like to end your dreamlike trip with this  cheesy but absolutely correct quote from the Shiv Khera book, 'You can Win'. The toughest steel is the one that passes through the hottest of the fires. Are you ready to face the fire? 

When perspectives matter

There have been times, when I used to be one of them. Pleasing people here. Pleasing people there. Actually, the idea wasn't pleasing. The idea was, not hurting. Anyway, for all intents and purposes, it gets to the same thing. There are many who can't stand hurting anyone else. That anyone else can be the enemy for all you know. Nah, it's not being coward. It's just not putting unnecessary strain on your own heart! Kyon bhai, kya zabardaasti hai.But slowly, as I realized, that stand only helped encouraging the wrong, not supporting the right. That stand, that people call diplomacy, the person, the people call diplomatic.. it started to get me damn irritated, including on myself. 

Since then have made quite a few enemies, or rather, from a person with a sweet, shy,  cutesy image, to someone who's taken a stand and spoken aloud of my concerns, thoughts clearly and without a shield, it's been a long way. Now, my opinion sort of shows on my face. And I make no attempts to hide it. In fact, I believe no one should. If you hate me for my opinion, you have every right to. I kind of enjoy this black or white in life till I stumbled upon grey. A time when my opinion was conditional. If this, then yes, if that, then no. And I suddenly realized, indeed, sometimes it does get difficult to maintain a stand that 'you don't have a stand'. I would go left right and center accusing people of diplomacy till I fell into that trap. I wasn't being diplomatic. It was exactly what I felt. But how do you show that? By taking a stand? Nah! What's the point!! And that's been a lesson for me. Respect even diplomacy! Every perspective needs to be respected. Every thought of every individual has a reason. Now if that thought irritates you, try to first understand why the thought exists.. if you can't understand, what are you doing there anyway! If you do understand and feel it needs to change, then work towards changing it. But do not ever disregard it. 

We all live our lives  in ways that don't stress our heart. And why not, we all should have a right to. Kisi ke liye the way to de-stress is taking sides of the truth and triumphing it. For some, it's watching the show and going back home to sleep. There's nothing wrong in either. It's like this, you'll never know how it feels, till it happens to you :) So respect and be respected! 

The Zidd

There are some realities that make you arrogant in life. For instance, what you aren't comfortable doing, is perhaps the smartest way to succeed. Is the best way to be happy. What you think isn't ethical, is the 'way' forward. Either do it or don't expect rewards from life. Life is about choices. Agreed. But it is about choosing the way ahead. It isn't a choice about sacrificing the destination, the outcome of the way forward. Everyone has the right to succeed the way they want. Yes, it is a right, that no one should question. It's a reality that everyone should respect.

When the society does not respect your way to success, just because it isn't a part of the 'bandwagon', that's when there's anger. That's when the zidd arises. To prove people wrong. To reiterate that nothing speaks like actions, like work and like deeds. Why is it a crime to quiety succeed? And quietness is often mistaken as arrogance. Sometimes, there are things you aren't born with. Money and beauty for instance. And there's a zidd to command attention and respect despite that. Many people have done it and how. Shahrukh Khan has no hero looks. But look how girls swoon and die for him now. Vidya Balan, that chubby actress everyone thought kya kar legi. She's quiety swept the definition of hot under the carpet and created a new one on her own. Must've been her zidd. Dhoni during the T20 worldcup was perhaps underrated. No one cared about team India going out there.Kya kar lenge! Yet again, proving wrong. Society's ways of ignorance are good. Coz they goad the quiet ones into proving the wise ones wrong. Tendulkar does it all the freakin time. You write him off, and he ensures you bite your tongue and take back all that you've said. He commands respect and never demands it. I think if any of us can do that to ourselves, with a zidd to show the world, that we did it only for the sake of those who are ignored like us, the world will learn to respect, break prejudices and break inhibitions about success.

Expecto!

Naa jaane kitne saadhu santo ne kahaa hoga, 'Don't expect and be happy.' Perhaps there's only one key to happiness in any relationship. 'Don't expect and be happy'. And today, that is the sacred mantra to attaining nirvana from pain, hurt and disappointments. But sometimes I wonder, is that really the answer? Do we really have to stop expecting? Because sometimes, setting no expectation from someone, can be a let down for them. Of course you expect your parents to be wanting to see you happy, Of course, you expect that if you've worked hard, you'll be appreciated. Of course, you will expect your husband/wife to remember your anniversary if  you're married. There are some things, which get character, which throw up the joy and thrill in life, only because of expectations. And other moments, become joyous, simply because we do not expect them to happen.

Expectation is all about striking a balance. In fact, when you expect from someone, you are indirectly telling them how much they mean to you. Disappointments are a result of expectations which are a result of trust and love. So then, they say, no expectations lead to delights every single time. Is it? Because then, you stop valuing the delight. Kiya toh bhi theek, nahee kiya toh bhi theek. What's the fun in that? When you don't expect, you don't feel.. and when you don't feel.. you don't remain human anymore. Do you? Expectations are about knowing who exactly you want to expect from. Not everyone you know, will strive to fullfill them for you. And that's where most people go wrong. Put the faith of expectation in the wrong people, and sink into the ocean of disappointments because they couldn't care less. But expect from the right ones, the ones you know care for you, and you know they will bend rules, to ensure you're not disappointed. Expectations are nothing, but telling the people you love, 'I know, you can do it.' or even better, 'I know you WILL do it' :)

What is beautiful?

Conventional beauty is passe... today its about defining the beautiful. What is beautiful?

1. When your parents give you pocket money, even when you've heard them crib about bank balance. That's beautiful

2. When your sibling starts crying when they see you crying, that's beautiful

3. When you see your grandparents face light up seeing you get an award, that's beautiful

4. When you are lonely and yet feel happy listening to a perfectly awesome piece of music, that's beautiful

5. When you surprise someone with a gift and they give you this super surprised reaction, that's beautiful

6. When unexpected people shower care on you, that's beautiful

7. When you fail and you push yourself to rise above the rest, that's beautiful

8. When you feel jealous about someone but back it up with respect for the person, that's beautiful

9. When you have complaints against someone but don't insult them, that's beautiful

10. When you can smile even while u rage a lonely battle inside, that's beautiful

11. When you are hurt by a friend, but can't stop being fond of him/her, that's beautiful

12. When you know you are not exactly the best, but you love yourself, that's beautiful

13. When you know that beauty is what you make it to be, that's a beautiful realization indeed

What's beautiful in your life? Do share. May be we all need a few reasons to feel beautiful :)