Life's companion

Sometimes you just let go. It is not possible to keep taking charge of life every now and then. And to be frank, life needs to go its own course at times. It's this little kid who'll get cranky if you'll dictate too much of his actions. What matters, is not the fact that you've let your life take its own course for a while, what matters, is how well, you take back it's control when you realize it's straying into territories you want to avoid.

Not always, will hardwork bear fruits, not always will efforts be recognized, not always, are you able to live up to your own expectations, or achieving your own goals. It's one of those times when you do everything right and yet end up wondering what went wrong. It's one of those times when life is testing how long can you walk the path of the right. How long can you keep silent and let your actions do the talking? It's one of those times when you live on the edge. Life goes on like a monotonous movie. Future becomes predictable and not exciting. It's one of those times when you realize your position in this universe. That you are nothing but an insignificant part of it. It's one of those times when you are humbled. Questioned. Shaken.

Life moves ahead, when you take control and steer it on to the path of your destiny. The straying of life is your vacation, your freewheeling holiday, life's holiday as well. But it's important you wake up, take charge and take control before you start blaming anyone else for what's happening to you. Set a few goals that matter, set a few sights that matter, list down things that bother you right now, but shouldn't matter to you because justice, fairness, truth will prevail  at the set of the dawn. Remember, work for what is the best, and the best will come to you effortlessly. The goal should not be about being the best. The goal should be about making the best use of things around you, to make your work, your life the best.

Yes, life is about you. And you can be selfish and think about yourself. But try letting that go, and life will not complain about your control. Because you, will be life's companion. 

Left behind..

It's interesting to trace the journey of people coming and  going out of our lives. For some of us, we have childhood friends, who are a part of us. No matter where we are, no matter what we do. They are the ones who matter to us the most and who will stay with us for a lifetime.

And then there are some of us, who walk the journey alone. And there are a few fortunate paths where some extremely interesting people cross our lives. Walk with us for a moment or two. And then go their own ways. Initially it's difficult to see this come and go. And then you start expecting a pattern. You know every traveler in your journey of life, has come to go away. You become skeptical of building bonds. What about the pain when he/she leaves? Even after expecting the outcome, acceptance isn't easier. Sometimes we end up not enjoying that moment of a journey, in anticipation of the parting. It's difficult. To deal with the come and go, the break and make of bonds. Especially when you meet people, whom you know, and you would love to have as company for a lifetime. As friends, as well-wishers, as just about anyone who cares.

But then, you move on. On and  ahead to explore the unexplored territory of life. Who next? What next? How will it go? There's hope, there's optimism and yet there's that 'I know what will happen in the end' belief that somewhere restricts the fun, but also prepares you for the worst. Then on, either life will surprise you, or you will  surprise life, by being graceful in accepting it the way it is, by enjoying the journey, knowing it's meant for you to walk alone, meet people, delight them on the way, let them be, and move on, to delight the next one.
You are fortunate. Aren't you? :)

A thank you note for my bike

'It's for your mom' said Dad, as I clearly remember staring at a white and blue fresh from the showroom Kinetic Honda, outside Dadaji Dhackjee showroom in Worli (of course, now it doesn't exist). This was in 1996. When it was brought to our building, I got a pic clicked standing next to it. It had this fancy, black velvet cover! I was, say a few inches, taller than it was. Hmm. Nice.

Over next few days, the bike became an object of admiration. Self start in the zamaana of kick, especially for my dad who was a Yezdi rider was bliss. Mom started learning it. And then, one day in the process fractured her arm. That's it. The poor Kinetic was rider-less. Unless you count dad, but he was more of a car person. Then, I was barely in 7th standard, but admittedly, quite taller than the rest in the class. (I think ever since then, height hasn't increased). I remember, I had just about learnt to cycle in standard 5. And one fine day, dad plonks me on to the Kinetic (legs, barely, but almost touching the ground), and says 'Chalao'. 'What??' I stared back 'Chalao. Accelerator karo dheere se. Break par haath rakho'. He said unfazed. And then started my journey with the Kinetic. Till I was in about 9th standard, I just enjoyed riding it in my society. Then I was pushed out of it. On to the roads. To get sabzi, to go to places 10 minutes away but which needed rickshaws to commute. I started off. Within years, I got my car and scooter license together. Vrrroooooommm I went. Every saturday I'd be given a to-do list of going across places and paying bills, laundry, groceries etc. I'd set on my ride. And be back, with everything ticked off. There were times, at 4 AM in the morning, when guests at home wouldn't get ricks. The Kinetic would come to the rescue. Why! Even when Dad worked in Thane, it was this Kinetic he took all the distance and survived his travel. I remember a period when dad went to the US for a long time. The Kinetic then rested with my cousin brothers who used it for going to their classes, colleges etc. It then came back, as dad returned. It has been unbelievable 16 years since then. And it amazes me, how the bike is so sturdy and refuses to give up. The body has rusted. White has given away to brown and blue. Almost fallen apart. But when the petrol pump guys fill in petrol, or the mechanic takes it for servicing, they just say one thing. "Madam. Isko bechna mat! Iske jaisa engine aaj ke zamane main nahee milega'. It's still going strong. Needs us to take care of it each month. But then... thank you. For all the literal 'burden' that you've taken on relentlessly! It's unthinkable of the bikes and modern machines of today. 

Relationships that are not meant to be..

You can plan victories, plan life, have dreams, win battles, achieve goals... but you can never and perhaps should never plan friendships or any other relationships. Because planning, goals and all that makes it so inhuman. They're all about wishing, hoping, wanting.. and then sometimes even letting go.

They're like rivers.. can dry up, flood, change course, and you can't do much except keeping your boat afloat in the tide. No matter how hard you try, some relationships are not meant to be. And you need backstabbing, several hurts to be able to realize the truth and the pain. It makes me question the idea of friendships and other such relationships. Who'd wanna marofy apne pair pe kulhaadi? But again, they're the river you can't help getting swept into.. its mildly interesting and highly disgusting. I guess in the end its about how you handle it. Do you stop getting into this river? Do you get a better oar to guide you well? Do you learn to swim and not need a boat at all? Do you just go away?

It's that part of life, that control freaks hate.. you know, the ones in movies.. 'I can't lose. I have never lost'.. but there's no such thing in the battle for relationships.. and that's when you leave it to time, to god, to it's own course.. What's not meant to be,will never be. What is meant to be, will keep you waiting.. 

The problem of no problems

Stress free, perfect, sitting in the green lawns, early morning dew, hot cup of tea, delicious breakfast, swimming, meditation, parties... bus.. that's all that we look forward to in life. We hate dealing with problems. I mean we do everything possible to avoid this virus called 'problems'. For many of us, the ideal life is the problem free life where we can keep smiling forever. But you don't need me to tell you that, wishing for a problem free life is no solution. Obviously, if that happened, joy and sorrow, strong and weak, nice and bad.. everything loses meaning. Life loses meaning (Wah!profound!) !

Well, getting to the point. Living life problems free is no fun. Living life problems solved, is more fun. Problems make us uncomfortable, test our grit and determination, test a different trait every time they occur, so they manage to tense us, they are THE things that shake us out of our comfort zones. And register this. Every time you manage to solve a problem, you manage to pass that test of life. Some problems test courage, some test your patience, others, your thinking abilities. The fun is taking problems head on. Nah! That doesn't mean they'll stop coming to you. It just means, they'll be more fun. I know, I know. Fun sounds very optimistic. But you get the point. No? Oh alright. I just mean, you can then stop worrying about obstacles and start concentrating on larger goals, that consist of your dreams.. of all your 'someday I will' list.

It's very very very easy to settle down in comfort zones. Who doesn't love them. Bus, mujhe koi disturb mat karna.. this is how I want life to be. Perfect, pristine, magical. But then, I'd like to end your dreamlike trip with this  cheesy but absolutely correct quote from the Shiv Khera book, 'You can Win'. The toughest steel is the one that passes through the hottest of the fires. Are you ready to face the fire? 

When perspectives matter

There have been times, when I used to be one of them. Pleasing people here. Pleasing people there. Actually, the idea wasn't pleasing. The idea was, not hurting. Anyway, for all intents and purposes, it gets to the same thing. There are many who can't stand hurting anyone else. That anyone else can be the enemy for all you know. Nah, it's not being coward. It's just not putting unnecessary strain on your own heart! Kyon bhai, kya zabardaasti hai.But slowly, as I realized, that stand only helped encouraging the wrong, not supporting the right. That stand, that people call diplomacy, the person, the people call diplomatic.. it started to get me damn irritated, including on myself. 

Since then have made quite a few enemies, or rather, from a person with a sweet, shy,  cutesy image, to someone who's taken a stand and spoken aloud of my concerns, thoughts clearly and without a shield, it's been a long way. Now, my opinion sort of shows on my face. And I make no attempts to hide it. In fact, I believe no one should. If you hate me for my opinion, you have every right to. I kind of enjoy this black or white in life till I stumbled upon grey. A time when my opinion was conditional. If this, then yes, if that, then no. And I suddenly realized, indeed, sometimes it does get difficult to maintain a stand that 'you don't have a stand'. I would go left right and center accusing people of diplomacy till I fell into that trap. I wasn't being diplomatic. It was exactly what I felt. But how do you show that? By taking a stand? Nah! What's the point!! And that's been a lesson for me. Respect even diplomacy! Every perspective needs to be respected. Every thought of every individual has a reason. Now if that thought irritates you, try to first understand why the thought exists.. if you can't understand, what are you doing there anyway! If you do understand and feel it needs to change, then work towards changing it. But do not ever disregard it. 

We all live our lives  in ways that don't stress our heart. And why not, we all should have a right to. Kisi ke liye the way to de-stress is taking sides of the truth and triumphing it. For some, it's watching the show and going back home to sleep. There's nothing wrong in either. It's like this, you'll never know how it feels, till it happens to you :) So respect and be respected! 

The Zidd

There are some realities that make you arrogant in life. For instance, what you aren't comfortable doing, is perhaps the smartest way to succeed. Is the best way to be happy. What you think isn't ethical, is the 'way' forward. Either do it or don't expect rewards from life. Life is about choices. Agreed. But it is about choosing the way ahead. It isn't a choice about sacrificing the destination, the outcome of the way forward. Everyone has the right to succeed the way they want. Yes, it is a right, that no one should question. It's a reality that everyone should respect.

When the society does not respect your way to success, just because it isn't a part of the 'bandwagon', that's when there's anger. That's when the zidd arises. To prove people wrong. To reiterate that nothing speaks like actions, like work and like deeds. Why is it a crime to quiety succeed? And quietness is often mistaken as arrogance. Sometimes, there are things you aren't born with. Money and beauty for instance. And there's a zidd to command attention and respect despite that. Many people have done it and how. Shahrukh Khan has no hero looks. But look how girls swoon and die for him now. Vidya Balan, that chubby actress everyone thought kya kar legi. She's quiety swept the definition of hot under the carpet and created a new one on her own. Must've been her zidd. Dhoni during the T20 worldcup was perhaps underrated. No one cared about team India going out there.Kya kar lenge! Yet again, proving wrong. Society's ways of ignorance are good. Coz they goad the quiet ones into proving the wise ones wrong. Tendulkar does it all the freakin time. You write him off, and he ensures you bite your tongue and take back all that you've said. He commands respect and never demands it. I think if any of us can do that to ourselves, with a zidd to show the world, that we did it only for the sake of those who are ignored like us, the world will learn to respect, break prejudices and break inhibitions about success.