Time is the healer

Today, I am writing about forgiveness. Actually, I am totally 100% the wrong person to write about this beautiful topic. But then, I have an average human's view on forgiveness. So, while I don't believe in 'forgive and forget'.. or rather, let me say, it's pretty conditional. I find it easy to forgive and forget, if amends have been made, efforts have been made to make up. But just like that? Oh I dunno. I believe in forgiveness, definitely lies the merit. It helps you more than anyone else. It makes your life easier. So that, is a given. But it's the forget part that bothers me sometimes. And that's where time plays the healer. I believe, the trick to forget, is to let go of grudges with time, to people who haven't made an effort to reconcile. Time changes, people change. And beneath all this, lies one firm reality. Every single person has that something special about them, is good at heart. There's something good about everyone. As I firmly believe, every single person HAS to be respected. The way they act, the way we act, is pretty situational, circumstantial.

There are people I've held horrible grudges against. But when I meet them after eons, I think, no wait. That was then. What is it now? Now I give a smile and if I get one, bingo! I am on the path to becoming lighter in the head. Well, that's my mad fundaa. Dunno how's it with you. Do you do that too? Or you decide never ever to bump into those offenders again? I tried to do that, but hey, life is short, world is a small place. Avoidance is certainly not the solution. Every person you forgive with a smile, is every heavy nerve of your brain freed of all that strain. It still takes me time to practice forgiveness. It's damn hard. It's like swallowing a bitter pill. But then I think of all those who have forgiven me, for numerous faults of mine, and I think, what am I? the eternity? the divinity? of course not. That brings me to this very simple and beautiful phrase.. what a pity, it gets lost in the world of intelligence, but treat others the way you'd like to be treated. It's just that. Wouldn't we all want forgiveness.. a second chance? some trust and some love? Ok, I am not getting back to the spiritual happy ending of nirvana and forgiveness. All I am saying is, be open to changing your judgments, letting go of your prejudices and allow time to heal. Forgiveness, will then just follow. :) 

Dream. And that's when the story begins...

What would life be without dreams? Dreams.. that help us be what we aren't. Dreams, that help us achieve, what we don't. Dreams that help us do, what we can't. No wonder, when reality fails to make us happy, we take the help of dreams, to avoid putting a full stop to our needs.

Many believe dreams are dreams, not meant to become a reality. For them, dreams have a sacred and sacrosanct place in life. It helps them de-stress, feel better, but they do not expect anything from their dreams. It's like coming back to reality and saying 'forget it.' That's a pretty widespread bread of people.

Then there are some, who know somethings can never happen, and make them happen in their dreams. Here I am talking about love, relationships and more. Actually, love is something, that should never be taken as a goal, you can't achieve it, you can't succeed in it, if it is not meant to happen. Ditto for all other relationships. If there's anything that has to be left to the flow of life, it's relationships. And hence, we often dream about the perfect relationships in our lives... because what will happen in reality, no one has ever known.

And then, there are those, who dream and then pick up the dream to be an object of obsessive desire, just like a 2 yr old child would set his eyes on a fancy toy and go non-stop 'I WANT THAT'. These are dreams that you HAVE to, WANT to and are WILLING to convert to reality. These are in short, what we call, 'Dream come true'. These dreams are perhaps the hardest to achieve. They have a path which lingers for years and they require dedication that sucks up all the will power and determination that you'd have. They teach you the power of hope. They test patience. They are not something everyone will set to achieve. But those who do, will win a landmark in their own lives, inspire others and set the tone of truth to this wonderful tagline Nike has. Impossible is nothing.

Being Correct

Correct people are irritating. You can't do anything about them. You will mostly hate them, but there is this string of conscious mind that will keep pulling you towards them. You will seldom love them but you will always respect them and if you have to believe someone blindly, it will be them.

Because, being correct isn't easy. We lose correctness in the bid to being diplomatic. We give relationships and networking more importance than we give the honesty and correctness of our work. Oops.. we don't want to rub some people the wrong way. But we don't mind going the wrong way. Being correct, is courage to be indifferent, rude and tough so that you are deceiving nobody, not even yourself. Being correct means doing your own thing, doing what makes you happy, doing what you think is right for you, even while the world is busy adoring itself in the mirror and busy charming others.

Symptoms of being correct are evident. Most often than not, those who are correct are victims of jealousy, isolation, accused of being snobbish, misunderstood or skeptically judged. If you face all of this at once, and you remotely think you're correct, yes, may be you are. Correctness and coolness do not go hand in hand. True, what is correct is subjective, but then you know what I am talking about.

How important it is to be correct? Now that is a discussion. Because many would say 'who cares?'. After all its my favourite quote, life is indeed a matter of choice. If you choose to be correct, then you shall face the consequences. While most of these consequences don't look too inviting, correctness is the road less traveled, and roads less traveled often lead you to the most marvelous places. So go on :) Enjoy your journey while the world broods over you. 

Health is a choice we make

Over this ongoing period of my diet, I have realized, health is a choice we make. 'Will you be able to do it?' asked my dietician, with complete cloud of doubt cast over her face. 'Eating out 4 times in a day! How will you do it?' she asked again as I stared dumbfounded at her. Ab kya bolun! I knew I had to lose weight, 'but when?' is something the whole of zamana kept asking me. I had no answer. And finally I was there. I thought hard, like exam hai bhai, kuch toh jawaab dena padega. And then I looked straight in her face and told her 'Listen, all 25 years of my life, I have had all kinds of food.. sweet, cheese, oil, baked, fried, toasted, everything.. everything I always wanted to have.. no one's ever stopped me. I have enjoyed my food for that period of my life. Now, I want to see how it is to lead a healthy life. So yes, I am on.' I finished with this Oscar type speech. She blinked. And recovered. 'Okay. Let's start'. And there, I have begun working on my unfinished dreams of years.

They said it would be tough, in the beginning to let go of all the junk. But somewhere, I had achieved nirvana. I had plonked so much crap into myself, that dieting seemed like having a bath after being dirty for ages. It was fun. And today, intelligent nutritionists do not abuse the word diet. It's not starve and crave wala diet. I was secretly abusing my dietician for giving me cheese, paneer, bread as a part of my diet, my family thought 'WHAT THE HELL'. But I realized, I had to trust her. Coz whenever I put my foot on the weighing scale, she was palpitating more than me! She used to cross her fingers hoping i've lost weight. And sure enough, it worked. She still ensures I get what I like.. of course, when I see those pasteries, puffs, ban maska, cakes, rolls and burgers, my heart lurches back to those days I used to hog.. wowwwww.. but then, the famous hindi dialogue, 'kuch paane ke liye, kuch khona padta hai'. What is also working for me is, people around me support me more than myself. It's beautiful how everyone wants you to be healthy. From mom who makes omelettes early morning to my colleagues at workplace who keep an eye on my sneak peeks with fried snacks. It's just wonderful to see everyone care.

So then I do my bit. I had given up wanting to be an early riser. And lo! Behold, I get up, go for a walk almost every day. It's a choice I've made. It's a sign I have read, an opportunity I have clung to. Of course, there are miles to go before I sleep, or even celebrate a teeny weeny bit. Yeh picture abhi baaki hai mere dost ;) Cheers to a healthy life!

What does it take?

What does it take, for the world to sit up and notice you?
Good looks? If you have some, you're the apple of the eye. Else you're the onion that can make others cry.
Then may be, good fashion sense? Ah that makes up for the looks part of it, if you dress well, you must be someone worth talking to.
Or then, position and power? After all, power doesn't come to just about anybody! If you have the power, surely you're special.
Or how well you're networked may be. Hmm. Sounds good. I don't care who you are. I love the people you're around with.
Or then, may be you have famous parents? There you go, you're labelled as one among the spoilt brat generation
Oh and ultimately, if you've got the riches, you've got the world at your feet.

But what if you don't want to do or don't have either of the above? And yet you want to achieve fame, get noticed and respected?
The world is a place full of hypocrites and superficial people. Deep down they value much more than just what's stated above. But they need to be bought to their senses. Superficial judgement will give you superficial winners. Many say 'beauty matters. beautiful people get noticed and that's the truth'.. And many forget, 'beauty is a weak magnet. And when this magnet loses its power, the consequences are terrible'. If you're one of those seeking a voice and trying to get the world to notice you, don't give up. Let your work speak. Dream your dreams and live your goals, get where you want to, while the world fights to please the above. It's not about getting yourself noticed. It's about sticking up for all those who get ignored, just because they're not beautiful/rich/fashionable/powerful/well networked etc. 

Leave them alone!

Hmm.. ever since the T20WC, i've been following the Indian media daily on its sports analysis. And believe me, I have read every little blog, article or anything to do with Indian cricket team. The stance of the media has been pretty disgusting right from the start and has gotten desperate and ugly now that India has been washed out of the T20 world cup. I start by saying the word 'media' coz it is largely responsible for shaping up the opinions and shaking up the dressing rooms. We shall address the question 'how?' in a moment.

Firstly for starters I'd like to address those who'd say 'Arre, Dhoni ne toh paisa kama liya, usko kya farak padta hai.. ' Boss, everyone knows cricket in India is a passion, is a religion and is grossly commercialized even at the expense of other sports and sportspersons. But having said that, there is no way one can take away credit from those guys who are playing cricket in India. So, if you're jealous of the money they're getting, why don't you go play cricket? But saying that playing cricket is easy money is undermining the toil, effort and struggle gone into the making of each and every sportsperson that comes from the gullies of India. Hence, respect every sportsperson, be it a cricketer or someone else. I follow cricket, so here I'm writing about it.

Now, what the hell was everyone expecting from Team India? I mean for god's sake, these blokes have been proving themselves for a long time now.. All I remember from last few series is only wins and draws.. hardly any loses! And all of this within a period of months!! How the hell can you thrust matches after matches on them and keep expecting them to win everything under the sun? Many might say, they dint win when it mattered the most. I'm saying, it's alright.. Chill! They still remain one of the topmost teams to beat, a team that every other cricketing nation fears.. and till the time that hasn't changed, I don't see why the support given to MSD and the Team India should.

Talking about Dhoni, the poor guy has undergone a hell lot of a grind. Yes, so he had his differences with Sehwag, which the media, very kindly blew out of proportion. Believe it or not, this was a big distraction for team India fans, forget the Team India itself! I am not saying media shouldn't have reported this, but the way this analysis, of Dhoni's every statement went on was pretty much 'i-got-fodder-for-next-10-days' matter. Secondly, the only few mistakes he made were in the crucial game against England. Yes, those were bloody stupid and crappy mistakes.. and probably political too? Who knows? But the guy admitted having made those mistakes, took full responsibility of the same and pledged improvement. What more can he do? (even assuming 'usko promise karne mai kya jaata hai', still, what more can he do?). Suddenly media comes up with dubious headlines like 'Dhoni's dream run is over?' 'Captain cool is uncool?' I mean what bull shit! I believe Dhoni and his team's dream run is very much on! I tell you why? The guy is someone who's come up the hard way. He has taken up captancy under very tense circumstances and has built this younger team (and even lead it to win T20 worldcup) without any Tendulkar-like record breaking match winning players at disposal. In fact, he himself remains the No.1 batsman on ICC rankings due to his ability to finish matches. Dhoni is a kind of person who learns from mistakes and rectifies them. He is the kind of player who will experiment against majority. And when you take risks, it's either rewards or brickbats.

I think it's too early to write off this Indian Team. I have full faith in each and every player. In fact im appalled at the thought that they've got a series coming up in the next 10 days!!! I just hope the boys go out there and shut up these useless experts who (expectedly) crown you the moment you win and drown you the moment you lose! Go get em!

when joy scares

So often it happens to me.. there's too much joy around. Everything goes perfect. All wishes seem to be coming true.. and the very next sane moment, everything vanishes.. just vanishes... its like the entire process is put into a reverse gear. And at that time it hurts so much, that it takes time to come out of the sudden contrast of moments.

The result is that I've stopped enjoying happy moments. In fact, I am actually scared of them. It's not that I am not prepared to face what comes next. But I just lose value of the happiness that surrounds me in the present. It is like this glass that is sure to break. It is like this dream which once you see, will make sure it will never become a reality. I tried discarding this feeling as a mental block. But you see, experience makes my case stronger. Ofcourse it also reinforces the old adage that 'After every bad, there is good' and vice versa. Hence I am really confused what to do.. I try to enjoy my happiness, but most often end up not taking it seriously. It's like 'What's in it to be so happy about? It's going to turn into something bad anyways'.

I know its a negative and a really bad cycle of thought.. I sometimes curse myself for it.. But I just dont know what to do.. Enjoy the moment and perhaps take strength from it to face the hurt? Too idealistic. Any suggestions?